singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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