I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
