All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
