I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
