Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
