She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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