How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
