I'm laying in your front yard are you home
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize