love makes seman taste better
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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