ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
