Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
