I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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