so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
they're like a gay fantastic four
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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