I love black thongs
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Watching her eat just hurts me
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
