She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
