absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
