video games are the ultimate cock blocker
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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