We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
