I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
