I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
