Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize