let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Randomize
