Sry I called you an 8
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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