covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
