Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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