I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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