Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
