I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
how drunk are you?
Several
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
