the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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