I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
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