How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
