Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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