that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Randomize
