I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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