Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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