It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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