I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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