Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
That accounts for only three of the penises
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
