idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
