Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
