hell yes lets make some ravioli
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
