therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
What a dumb baby whore.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
