You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
