yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize