It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
