Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize
