I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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