Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
