The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
