We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
