Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She even gives head with a lisp.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
