So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
