Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
