The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
