Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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