I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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