Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
