Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
