dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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