Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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