Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
