I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
high people should be assigned attendants
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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